Alien Hair and Sneaky Blondes
by NabikiB
Summary: Poor Pinstripes complained of non-ginger hair one time too many. ONESHOT.


**Summary: Poor Pinstripes complained of non-ginger hair one time too many. ONESHOT.**

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_**Alien Hair and Sneaky Blondes**_

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"Oh hush, you great _daft _thing," Jackie scoffed at the squirming alien as she applied highlights to the alien's now very wet and stinking dark auburn hair. "It doesn't smell _that _bad and we're nearly done." A few feet away, Rose was doing her level best not to start giggling again at his scrunched up nose and twisted lips as the smell of the chemicals in his hair assaulted him.

"Yes Doctor, and you've already applied the other stuff so the rug'll match the drapes when she's got you all rinsed out and conditioned, right?"

"Yes, Rose, I applied it the mentioned area...and it burned when it dripped."

"Well, I told you not to add too much water, didn't I then? Told you not to let it drip, I did. You're own fault if you failed to follow directions. How bad are the blisters?" Jackie asked.

Rose thought about having blisters in that area and winced, "Oh, my poor Doctor. Good thing you heal fast."

"Yes, well...nevermind that. S'not a subject for mixed company."

"Oh, so that's why Rose says you're not like that with her...gay are you?"

"WHAT?! No, I'm not gay!" He yelped as the back of the seat disappeared and he found himself head back over the sink again as Jackie finally rinsed that stuff out of his hair and cleaned it from his eyebrows before applying conditioner.

"Oh? Then you just don't think she's good enough for you then?"

"MUM! SHUT IT!" Rose yelped. "It's none of your business!"

"Oh yes, it is! You're my daughter after all." She ignored the alien's muffled yelp as she sat him up again and wrapped a towel around his head...not just his hair...and proceeded to 'fluff-dry' his newly fire-like hair.

"Jackie! Are you crazy? I adore Rose!" Silence fell in the tiny, single customer set up in the Tyler restroom.

"Really?" Asked Rose in a small voice. "Cuz I know I've been tryin' for as long as I've known you and you never _acted_ interested."

"Rose dear, are you insane? He waits until you're not looking and follows everything you do with his eyes. Dumb git forgets there's others in the room _watching him _watch you."

The Doctor sighed inwardly as he discarded the towel and moved to pull her into his arms. "I'm sorry. We've got one hell of an age gap though and even after what happened with Bad Wolf slowing your aging to nearly nothing..."

"I know, but I don't care."

"Okay. So that's it then. If you're sure you want me..."

"Oh I'm sure. That's why I told her to find a way that didn't involve you destroying your people while she was in me...don't you remember the Zygons and next you and Clara?"

"OH!" He paled, staring at her. "Part TARDIS, part Vortex and mostly Rose is what makes up Bad Wolf...so of course you were there."

"Yeah, 'oh'...you daft alien, there's _no way _I'd leave you unsupported through _that_."

He buried his face in her hair and trembled in her arms. "Oh, Rose..."

"Alright, you two, enough of that. Rose, turn him loose, I'm not done and he still needs to be dried and styled. As for you, you daft thing, sit your bum down so I can finish your hair." Jackie grumbled. "I'll make the arrangements for the rest." She added, once she was sure she was being ignored and they'd miss it. The Doctor would remember it later, hopefully after the minister was paid and the cake was bought.

* * *

"What's this?" The Doctor asked Jackie after helping out with a wedding rehearsal for someone she'd vaguely referred to as a 'friend'. She'd handed him a completely legal marriage certificate...it went with the completely legal marriage _license _she'd got them months earlier.

"That's your marriage certificate, your's and Rose's."

"What?"

"I fibbed. That _wasn't_ a rehearsal."

"You told me I was taking the role of friend of your's."

"You _are_ a friend of mine." She smirked, patted him condescendingly on the shoulder and strolled away. "Better now than _after_ you get my daughter pregnant." She called back as she left the stunned alien staring after her.

"Doctor?"

"Did you know that wasn't a rehearsal?"

_"What?"_

He handed her the certificate. "_Now_ I know where you learned 'sneaky' from, _Wife_."

"So...you're okay with it?"

"Yep."

"Cool."

"Yep."

"_My _Doctor."

"Yep."

* * *

"Triplets. My first you, the one in the rainbow outfit in the gallery and I think the Mr. Celery nutter one."

"My sons are taking after Ten, Six and Five." He paused. "It could be worse."

"The rainbow you one is a girl."

_"Oh dear."_

_~* finis *~_


End file.
